Time is the biggest asset you can ever have. We live in a status driven society. A society structured into following the social hierarchy always appreciates materialistic achievements, outer beauty and the predefined social standard of relationships. We cannot blame hierarchy for that though. Hierarchy is necessary to limit the chaos and entropy. But the outcomes of a hierarchy driven structure are very much toxic. Jealousy and hatred are two of the major toxic byproducts of a hierarchy structure. Contrary to the western societies, interpersonal bonding is much stronger in an Indian society. Sometimes it becomes quite difficult to say ‘No’ to someone very close to you. It's high time to learn the art of saying ‘No’. Say politely ‘do not waste my time’ and continue working. You needn't feel sorry for that.
Interpersonal skills are turning into survival skills of the 21st century. As the human societies are moving towards more dependency on digital products, human to human interactions have also shifted from the physical world to the virtual digital world to a very high extent. The world is becoming more material centric day by day. Emotional bondings have become weaker amidst the chaos of rat races turning humans into biological robots.
Emotional bonding has always been the USP of Indian societies. 90s Indian societies were very much more emotionally bonded than the present Indian societies. There was no internet , no social media and no digital distraction. Kids of the 90s were probably the last generation to have a childhood completely free from digital distractions. Life was so simple with parents, siblings and other family members. Family bonding was stronger. All members of the family used to dine together, travel together and always were available there for each other. There was never any kind of scarcity of time for a fellow member of one's society. The world was less material centric then. They had enough time for one another. Nobody used to feel like time is wasting’ while being with another member from his society. This doesn't mean that they were not ambitious enough. They were, but were free from the digital distractions and the toxic outcomes of the digital social revolution.
One of the biggest reasons why depression and anxiety issues were not so common in the 90s than today is the emotional bonding in the societies. You can win the world if you have family support at the back. Digital revolution has brought humans very close to one another but on the other side it took humans very far from each other at an emotional level. Insecurities, anxieties and the material centric hierarchy race have led humans towards a never ending toxic race for materialistic achievements.
Time is said to be the biggest asset you can have. We all have 24 hours in a day. Nobody is gifted with extra hours in his daily bundle of hours. From Elon Musk to the one wasting time scrolling on Instagram, everyone has the same 24 hours. It's totally up to the individual how he uses his hours. Do not waste your time pleasing others, pleasing the society and running after distractions.
Nothing comes easy. You must work hard for something you genuinely feel worthy enough of your time. Distractions will be there. Your job is to stay focussed at your goals and to keep working with consistency. You should not feel sorry at all saying ‘do not waste my time’ to someone very close to you. ‘You’ comes first in your story. Your first job is to protect your dream, your mental health and your views. Be okay with saying ‘No’.
You should not feel sorry saying ‘Do not waste my time’ to the people around you:
1. Mental health perspective:
Mental health matters. In search of materialistic achievements, we often forget to look after our mental health. Mental health should be considered as a priority. Start freeing yourself from all the negative feeds that are coming to you. This starts with fixing your surroundings. Try to be in a surrounding that helps in your growth, helps you in learning new things and which push you towards your goals. It's quite normal to not have the kind of surrounding that you wish for. But why be sorry for that? We are in a digital era. If the physical surroundings are not helping in your growth, try to be in a virtual environment satisfying your requirements. The main point of the story is that your mental health should never be compromised at all.
Jealousy and hatred are two of the most toxic outcomes of the hierarchy driven modern social systems. You have a high chance of having encounters with people who will try to demotivate you, laugh at you and will try to pull you down. A genuine admirer or critic will point out your flaws and will suggest you to work on your shortcomings. But most of the above mentioned types of people in your surroundings just want you to fail, they are not saying something after analysing. They are just expressing their wish. Do not waste your time putting efforts to impress them. Keep working. You know yourself, your journey better than anyone else in this universe. Just say do not waste my time and continue your work. That's it.
2. Goal perspective:
Distractions are normal. Whether it's human forms of distractions or digital forms of distractions, be okay with having distractions. This means you are a human. Now the question is how will you keep focussing on your goals while being surrounded by all kinds of distractions. Here the conflict starts; the conflict between your hormonal triggers and your wishes. The only solution is stay away from distractions. You cannot focus on your work if you get dopamine hits from other sources all the time. Make work your dopamine trigger. This is possible only if you are genuinely loving what you are working on. Do not waste your time running after distractions. IKIGAI is a Japanese concept. It says about finding the intersection between your passion, profession and something that the world needs. Finding your IKIGAI is not that easy though. In a country like India, monary angle appears first when someone wants to pursue his passion. Most of the millennials end up pursuing something just for the sake of monetary support. If you are in college, you have time. Keep exploring everything even if you are not liking it. Participate in debate, dance, quiz and music competitions even if you are the worst singer in your college. This will improve your interpersonal skills, confidence level and will reduce your fear of failing. Do not waste time thinking about the perfect time to start. Just jump with your idea and work really hard. If you end up failing, no issue. You are still in college. Make the best use of your college life.
3. Life perspective:
Life is a journey, not a smooth journey though. How your life will be depends solely on your types of reactions to situations and challenges life throws at you. Failures are just the stepping stones towards success. We meet a lot of people throughout our journey of life. Everyone has something to learn from. Everyone has their own set of struggles, stories and uniqueness. Never feel like your time is wasting while interacting with someone. You will end up with learnings in the end. But yes, never compromise with your mental health, your goals and your views. You will meet people who will try to pull you down, demotivate you and will try to prove you unworthy. Never waste your time trying to prove your point to them. Don't feel sorry saying ‘do not waste my time’. Your goal is your responsibility. Don't just get distracted by a negative environment.
Don't take life too seriously. Sometimes it's important to take a pause, get rejuvenated and continue the journey. A calm mind and right attitude are all that you need to succeed. As Jordan Peterson says, “ Don’t compare yourself with other people; compare yourself with who you were Yesterday”, do not get depressed over setbacks. Enjoy the journey.
Success depends less on IQ and more on the approach, attitude and hard work. If you are far from distractions, you are already one step closer to your goals. Humans don't value time. How you utilise your time defines a lot of your probability of success. Most of the time, you join some conversations, go to some parties and probably talk for hours over the phone just to not make the other person feel bad. Your time is wasting. Just say politely “do not waste my time, I have something to work on”, nobody will judge you for that.
Indian societies are emotionally bonded. People get hurt when someone says no to something. But it's your life. Your goal is your sole responsibility. Just putting quotes on wasting time status on your social media won't help you to achieve your goals, working hard will. For that you need to say no a lot of time to your social surroundings. Learn the art of saying No.