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  • Writer's pictureNitul

Why does it become necessary to be asocial in a demotivating society?

The internet is probably the biggest blessing and the worst curse humanity has ever come across. On one side we are very close to one another even while staying a thousand miles away, but on the other side, we are very far from each other in the social scenery. Antisocial and asocial are somewhat negative terms while talking about socialisation. But sometimes it becomes necessary to remain asocial to look after your mental health, your thought process and definitely to keep your journey safe.

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Societies are essential parts of our life. Be it for the safety purpose, emotional support or may be from the identity perspective, humans need societies. Societies have a lot of influence on our thought process, worldview and our decision making process. But, in many cases societies act as a source of demotivation while we try to do something new. You must keep going whatever may be the circumstances you have to face during the journey. Your dream is your responsibility. Don't let your surroundings affect your journey.

Hierarchy is a real phenomenon. Every society is based on hierarchy structure. Hunter gatherer societies, more specifically groups were structured according to dominance hierarchy. Still the core of the hierarchy is the same but in different forms. Social hierarchy is mostly status based now which can be traced back to the dominance hierarchy at the core. Hierarchy is important to structure a society by distributing powers at different levels. But it comes with many negativities. Jealousy and hatred are the results of social hierarchy. Why your neighbour or relatives become unhappy by seeing your success. Ever thought? Ok, jealousy is a correct guess. But what led them towards being jealous of you? Your achievement or your chance of achieving something big. We are still carrying the genes of hunter gatherers. Humans love to dominate others be it socially, economically or by using power. This results into competition which eventually leads towards jealousy and hatred towards one another.

It's better to be an asosial in a demotivating society:

First of all, seeking validation from the society or your surroundings is a foolish attempt. It will only lead you towards demotivation, self doubts and depression. But yes, we cannot neglect the influence of our surroundings on our thought process, decision making process and our overall worldview. Clear thinking is difficult in such a scenario. Best way is to analyse from different perspectives then to decide a proper approach.

1. Clear thinking:

We live in a society where there is never scarcity of advice. Your surroundings define your personality. As psychology says, you are the average of five persons around you. Modern world is more complex. We are now parts of many societies at the same time both in the real and the virtual world. It's quite impossible to keep your mindspace free from all the happenings going around. Being calm in challenging situations is an art and our attempt should be to master it.

2. Focus:

Being focussed amidst the chaos around is really tough. A calm mind is necessary to focus on anything. Distractions will be there. Train your mind to be free from everything. Deep Work is essential for any kind of great achievements. Asocial is a negative term but many times you need to keep yourself away from the social surroundings to look after your mental health, your views and your dreams. Remember, ‘you’ come first in your story.

3. Attitude:

Attitude is everything. A right attitude is something that will help you overcome challenges, face difficulties and lead you towards success. Don't let your mind get disturbed by the hatred your surroundings throw at you. Remember, hatred will be more as you start climbing the ladder. Be ready for that.


Hatred and jealousy are the gifts of hierarchy. It's quite miserable to be at the lower of the hierarchy pyramid. This leads towards competition, jealousy and hatred. As Dr Jordan Peterson says, we can climb the hierarchy pyramid only with competency, not with power. Society and surroundings will keep on influencing us at many levels. You cannot change that. The best thing you can do is to try to keep your mind calm in any situation. Solutions will come when you stay calm.


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