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  • Writer's pictureNitul

Unhappy life:”happiness is not a choice”. How to overcome from an unhappy life

Updated: Jul 8, 2020

Life is unpredictable.Every step of life contains a lot of surprises of both good and bad and that is the beauty of life.We meet a lot of people during our lifetime.Some carry a positive approach towards their life and some are not.Some are extremely happy and some live a very unhappy life.”Happiness is a choice” seems impractical in a real life scenario.Though the sentence “happiness is a choice”  is not completely wrong but in most of the cases the person fails to be a “happy person”  just by wanting to be happy. Lot of things affect a person’s mental health and most of them are ignored in many cases turning his life into an “unhappy life”.

We live in a very complex society.People are rushing after materialistic goals and momentary happiness.They don't have time for another human being.21st century humans are more busy towards self,they don't care about their fellow humans.

Humans are social animals.Any positive or negative thing happens in the society directly or indirectly affects a person’s mental health.

These factors are the real cause of your “unhappy life”.

1.Craving for perfection:Everyone wants perfection, be it at the personal or at professional level.They want to look perfect,want to have a perfect job,perfect relationship and a perfect life.Most common reason for an unhappy life of today's generation kids is running after perfection.Nothing is perfect and nobody is flawless in this universe.They remain inside an invisible bubble where everything is perfect.When something goes wrong,they just cannot digest.They start feeling low and start facing self esteem issues which gradually lead to an unhappy life.

Tips to overcome: Don't stress too much on yourself.Everyone has their unique qualities.Try to know yourself better and know your qualities and limits.Never take anything as a verdict.Know your worth very well and never stop working.

2.Not living in the present:Some incidents from the past still bother you.You are not able to stop thinking about them.Every moment starts playing as a flashback inside your mind.You visualise everything and starts blaming yourself for if something could be done better from your side.You remain unhappy.Incidents can be of any type which had impacted your mind to a high extent from which you are still not able to overcome.Every Time you remain lost in the thoughts from the past.

What you can do to overcome:Shits happen to everyone at some point of their life.Take it as a learning experience and move on.Life is a roller coaster ride.Ups and downs will be there.Play it as an adventure game.

3. Expectation:Expecting too much from others leads to an unhappy life.People are selfish.Noone gives a shit about your problems, no one actually cares about how you feel,what you are going through and noone in real helps you in solving your issues.We live in a cruel world filled with fake,selfish humans.Very few people in this world you will meet who are genuinely helpful.When you believe someone to be a good person and in return you expect same type of gesture from that particular person,you will feel hurt if you don't get similar kind of gesture from him.Sometimes that hunts down deeply leading them towards an unhappy life. 

What you can do: Stop expecting anything from anyone.If you want to help someone,go for it.Just don't expect anything in return.You know yourself better than anyone in this universe.

Never share your personal issues with everyone you meet.Try to heal yourself if you are going through any tough situation.

4.Stuck in a toxic work culture:We spend more than one third of our day time at the workplace.IPSOS, a research company in a study found that 85% of office goers are unhappy with their work environment. The work culture inside an office matters a lot.A toxic work culture affects your mental health to a very high extent.Illogical back talks,targeted humiliation and lobby politics are so common in offices nowadays.

How to survive in a toxic environment:Take a job as a job and nothing more than that.Never think of your colleagues as your friends(exceptions are there).Never share your personal life with anyone in office.Try to be professional with everyone in office.Always appreciate yourself and don't live an unhappy life.

5.Goal:Rushing after something and getting frustrated after failing is one of the main reasons for an unhappy life.You want to achieve something.You have ambitions and you are working very hard to achieve your goal.If everything works fine,you feel happy.But you know in most of the cases the path to success goes through a lot of failures.When something goes wrong,you get frustrated that leads to losing of self esteem and self confidence.Remember nothing is more painful than to get stuck in somewhere you don't enjoy.

What you can do:Don't think too much.Remain consistent on your work.Try to give your best shot.Consistent hard work and dedication will finally lead you to success.

6.People around you:We live in a social atmosphere.Events going around us directly or indirectly affect us to a high extent.Any negative incident happened around us has a direct impact on our mental health.You just cannot be happy in a chaotic atmosphere with all negative incidents going on.A judgemental society can be the real reason to  your unhappy life.

”The desire for more positive experience is itself a negative experience And, paradoxically,the acceptance of one's negative experience is itself a positive experience.”- Mark Mension on his book “The subtle art of not giving a fuck”.

What your approach should be:Dont give a shit about what people will think.The life is yours,live it as the way you want.This life is your responsibility.Don't let anyone dictate your future.

7.Life on the Internet:The Internet is the main reason for people living an unhappy life these days.Internet generation kids are running after the life they see on instagram by blindly following the so called influencers.They don't know the reality of them and fall for it without even knowing what is is being fed to them and why.They just want to look like them,want to have the same hairstyle and to have a perfect body like them.They don't know the behind work that is done on every post of the so called influencers they see on instagram.

How to avoid:Instagram is fake and so are the typical influencers with perfect hair,perfect eyes and perfect bodies.Most of them are dumb who have nothing intelactual to offer you.These are part of their marketing strategies.People like you help them to become millioniars.Dont fall a prey to it.

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