Quoting famous lines from Shakespeare's Hamlet “To be or not to be”, this article would try explaining the conundrum of choosing the conventional choice or the forsaken one. We always find ourselves in the dilemma between choosing to be free and choosing the fear of abandonment. It’s always easier to side with that fear of disapproval, and gulp down our deepest desires, just to achieve “conventional peace”. But is suppressing always the way to peace? Or does letting your heart out always lead to chaotic situations? This article is an attempt to deep dive into these two major life changing decisions.
The human brain is driven by two major decision-making processes: the Logical side known as Intelligent Quotient (IQ) and the emotional side, the Emotional Quotient (EQ). Most of the decisions we take would broadly fall into these 2 buckets. The fast thinking, impulsive decisions following no logic, relating to our inherent nature belong to the emotional part. And the carefully crafted, slow thinking, reasonable decisions taken belong to the logical side. Most of the EQ based decisions are targeted for a stress-free outcome, where our brain simply just takes a call, based on our deep-rooted past learnings and our nature in general. While taking tough calls, considering pros and cons of the present situation in planning the future falls under the logical thinking category.
Mostly the EQ based decisions are usually spontaneous, and situations based, or maybe coming from the deep-rooted logical thought our brain is trying to hold on to. So the decision of expressing or contemplating is mainly driven by these two sides of thinking. And we humans usually side with the EQ based decisions and later come up with a logical explanation to our impulsive choices, trying to paint a pretty story.
Most problems or issues stay within our heads, before it tries to find a way to come out in any form. Clearly before trying to find an answer to any situation, some thoughts definitely arise, and we imagine ourselves taking some actions to resolve that issue. But most of the time, it stays in the head, without anything being done. There are pros and cons to contemplation. Clearly the very thought of choosing to contemplate rather than letting out is the logical side of your brain in action, carefully weighing the consequences of the actions. And usually, smart decisions weigh in suppressing that EQ’s calls, trying to find peace. This carefully thought-out contemplation most of the time results in saving a disaster, and the good of all. But usually, the contemplating person surely sacrifices some part of his happiness for the greater good, maybe for reputation’s sake or mostly trying to protect his interests.
This works up to a certain level, till the point the emotional side strongly tries to weigh in and the bottled-up thoughts start to make the person suffocated. It is exactly the point when long kept unresolved, lingering thoughts start popping out at random intervals disrupting the entire peace which the person had aimed for originally. And the “Express” balloon now starts pumping up and showing itself but mostly in harming, self-destructive ways taking the shape of anxiety, depression, insomnia, etc.
Well the “heart wants what the heart wants”, and we humans eventually find ways of expressing ourselves be it in good or bad ways. Cause those thoughts would eventually take up some form some time. Like contemplation, expressing also has got its own pros and cons. The root cause of expressing comes from the feeling of being trapped. Most of the time, it's a decision taken, when the person doesn’t want to pretend and carry on, and finally gets the courage to speak up or let his views out taking some action. Usually expressing all our thoughts all the time would be straight away categorized as “neurotic”, and of course may also disrupt families, societies and worlds. Sadly, this is the world we live, where being honest all the time comes with a price and an act of pretense is usually acknowledged.
Entirely letting the heart out break ties, but of course the person letting it out might be at peace maybe initially or eventually, so at least it goes for a personal win. The only pro here is the person finally letting out his thoughts, achieves some relief, and finally feels free, because now he has nothing to hide and hence no burden of reputation or interests to protect. The EQ side of our brain plays a major role here, expressing completely, after finally canceling out the IQ side’s carefully thought-out plans and sensible ideas.
Well, the tough part is always taking a call on whose side to take, whether belong to team EQ or team IQ. But instead of more complicating this puzzle, we can try to simplify it. Well, the answer lies in balance. Like a balanced diet is imperative for a healthy body, similarly a balanced play between the IQ and EQ goes a long way for a healthy mindset and peaceful life.