Do you think you are expecting more in a relationship?
Are there standard ways to manage expectations in a relationship?
Do I need to expect less from my partner?
Well, this may be what you ask yourself every time you have trouble in your relationship. Fights between two partners usually occur because of expectations. One partner may have a lot of expectations that the other fails to fulfill and that's where the problem begins to start.
But have you wondered that expectations from your end can be dangerous if you keep on expecting a lot from your partner. Where there is a relationship, there are expectations. Right from the unmarried young couple to the married couple of 20 years, everyone expects something from their other half.
What a partner should expect is trust, loyalty, respect, and personal space. These are some things that are the basics and are needed to make your relationship work. Many couples fail to understand the difference between realistic expectations and unrealistic expectations. Important and required things which a partner can easily give come with realistic expectations. On the other hand, demanding every little thing and applying rules to the actions of the partner is unrealistic.
Usually, many people have unrealistic expectations which are hard to fulfill every time by your partner. This may lead to creating trouble in your relationship if you fail to manage it.
Here is the list of do's and don'ts wherein you will get an idea of to which extent you can limit your expectations and how to manage them to avoid quarrels between your partner.
Do's of managing expectations in a relationship:
1. Give your partner time to fulfill your expectations:
Once you share your expectations with your partner, the most important thing you must do is give some time to your partner. Expectations are of different types and everyone needs time to offer it. Some expectations can be fulfilled within a minute, but some need a long period.
Not getting back what you want may make you anxious, and you start thinking that your partner is disagreeing to do it. But there may be a possibility that your partner is working on it and will be able to meet your expectations in some days.
2. Respect the disagreements:
Relationships come with love, support, trust, and bonding. Likewise, quarrels, conflict, disagreements, and clashes come along too. There's no relation without disagreements. There will be some point when you both have two different takes on the situation. you may have a different point of view and can have a different solution for it.
Understanding the reason for conflict and how you can come on the same page will manage your differences. Disagreements and small fights are a sign of a healthy relationship. So, making this a major issue and stepping back is of no sense.
3. Understand the difference between boundaries and expectations:
Setting boundaries is an important aspect of every relationship. A quick reply to your messages, fulfilling every small demand, controlling your partner, etc. are some things that are completely unhealthy for both partners.
You should know where to draw a line. Siting and discussing this together will make your relationship much more easy going.
4. Accept the change:
From time to time the nature of person changes. His habits, thinking, preferences, and a lot more change eventually. This can cause differences in your relationship if you have an attitude of sticking to the same habits all the time.
Relationship expectations should be flexible. If the other person has gone through a major change in job, family reason, or any other reason the best you can do is to accept the changes. To survive in a long term relationship, surviving with changes over time is a thing you will have to do for sure.
Don'ts of managing expectations in a relationship:
1. Stretching the little things:
Conflicts happen every now and then on small kinds of stuff. But what makes it worse is stretching it to the dead end. Letting go of the small mistakes can give a much more quarrel free experience in your relationship.
Concentrating on such little things makes you avoid the bigger things which are worth appreciating. What you should do in such a case is not waste your energy on small stuff because it is a stupid thing to get into an argument 10 times a day.
2. Getting used to build-up:
Expressing your feelings and what you felt bad about is a really good thing for a healthy relationship. Solving the misunderstanding on the same day can avoid a serious problem. Many people keep things to themselves, and it keeps on building up more every time. This leads to bursting into a really bad quarrel that can affect the relationship really badly.
Approaching your partner at the right time and clearing the things makes it easier and clear between both partners.
3. Comparing with others:
Every relationship has its own beauty. If you are comparing your relationship with others, you need to stop it right now. Comparing it with others is not just disrespecting but also gives an invitation to a hundred problems. If there is no room for comparison, your relationship will be healthy.
The moment you start comparing with others, you lose the reality of your relationship. Comparison will only give you unrealistic expectations. Staying the real you and giving what you are willing to, add the essence of love and realism.
4. Taking your partner for granted:
If the other person is making efforts and fulfills your expectation that doesn't give you a chance of taking your partner for granted.
The efforts come out of love and affection. If he/she is protective of you and takes really good care of you, he/she deserves the same from you. If you are not giving anything and just enjoying the one way love, it's time for you to make the other person feel special and give the same to his/her.
Managing expectations in a relationship is not a big task. Communication with your partner and setting a few standards as well as boundaries will ease the trouble of disappointments between both partners. Along with that, an open mind and trust are equally important. Understanding the other person and letting your realness contribute to your relationship will make an unbreakable bond. Over time, a few things are understandable, and you get to know the likes, dislikes, and what t expect and what not. That's why it is important to give some time to your relationship before coming to any conclusion regarding the unsatisfied expectations.