Do you care what other people think about you? I think we all do, to different extents. And the more we watch, the worse off we are for it.
This worry can easily get your mind wandering to dark places and trigger feelings of insecurity, anxiety, and self-doubt. It can also trigger feelings of self-doubt. If it is a hold on you, you will do everything to stay away from ridicule, rejection, and embarrassment. It's better not to be negatively judged, isn't it?
Feeling accepted is a common human desire. In the end, we evolved to be more successful in groups and being accepted as well as having the respect and trust of others are indicators of achievement. The desire to be part of a group is part of the genes.
However, sometimes that need takes the center stage and what others think of us is more important than the thoughts we have about ourselves.
We might analyze each glance and word that passes to us for clues as to whether we've been judged, and considered acceptable or insufficient. A person who walks into the hall without a greeting could cause us to be irritated and think that we aren't worthy of notice. We can be a bit obnoxious constantly putting other people prior to ourselves, leaving us vulnerable to being swindled when we try to win the praise of others. We could overwork ourselves trying to appear calm and hard-working enough or capable enough to feel appreciated.
What's the cause of this fear about being liked and why are certain of us more vulnerable than other people?
In many instances, it's an echo of the past. In our lives, something or somebody might have made connection or affection appear contingent and something we need to fight for, but which we aren't entitled to. A feeling of shame grows as we constantly fail to be perfect.
For sure, having the desire to be seen positively isn't bad. Everyone needs a bit of consciousness of how others perceive our personalities to stay in check and aware of the ways we influence other people. Too much worry about the opinions of others could cause us to think that we value the things that others expect from us, and not the things we want and require. The irony is that what started out as a desire to guarantee our satisfaction and acceptance may be a negative outcome.
Creating a New Mindset
If you realize that you're worried about being liked there are ways to return to an improved relationship with people as well as with you.
1. Keep things in the right perspective
It's been said that people be less concerned about what other people think of them in the event that they knew what they are viewed by people think of them. In reality, everyone has enough on their minds. There are also personal fears. If you're concerned about how you'll appear to someone you've only encountered, be aware that they're likely similar to you.
2. Think about what you are thinking
Humans are prone to cognitive distortions and ways that are a result of positive thinking which can affect our mood and behavior. For example, we could think the worst of things, ignore the positive aspects of the situation, and focus exclusively on the bad. We may also make assumptions that are too general or leap to conclusions. Be aware of your thoughts and ask questions about them instead of allowing thoughts to travel around your head. It is possible to discover that the issue you're worried about is just within your mind.
3. Let go of the idea of perfection
It isn't easy to let go of the notion that if you do things perfectly you'll be respected and loved. However, this is not a worthwhile endeavor, not just because perfection is a lie and what people think of you is more in common with their perceptions than it does with you.
4. Find out more about yourself
What are you most interested in? What are you truly looking for? Are you making decisions about your relationships, career, and hobbies to satisfy your needs or to delight or impress others? Let yourself try new things and ask yourself, "What would I pursue or enjoy if I wasn't so worried about being judged?"
5. Discover your tribe
There are some out there who be a part of you and respect the person you are. Do not waste your time trying to stay with people who want you to be a slave to their needs and desires. Find ways to cultivate authenticity and you'll meet those you're supposed to spend time with. "True belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world, our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance."
6. Let yourself be vulnerable
It's not easy to stand out from the crowd and speak up, and make a decision that is risky or risks being disapproved of. Make a decision about what is important to you, be confident, and take the risk. We don't develop by constantly playing safe. We develop by giving ourselves a chance to make mistakes.
7. Give the offer of a helping hand
The stress you feel over the opinion of others may be overcome by a bit of self-awareness. However, in certain situations particularly for those suffering from deep-seated stress or other mental illnesses, seeking professional aid can help you to discover the source of your issues. It is important to ask to get the help you require instead of putting off your pain.
8. Make yourself your own friend
It's not easy and you'll always be in a position to make everyone like you, regardless of how hard you try. However, you can look at one bright spot: no other person can do that, and neither can you. Therefore, accept the discomfort that will surely arise when you realize that you haven't established a relationship with someone. Focus instead on the objective that can take you closer to becoming the person you'd like to be. This includes learning to accept yourself as you are with all of your flaws and imperfections.